Many years ago the ever-wise Don Gerard opened my eyes to the world of cigarette loads (AKA cigarette bombs). Yes, kiddies, especially you in touring bands, cigarette loads offer an entertaining and exciting way to pass the time while on "the road."Here's your handy dandy tutorial, as dictated by Mr. Gerard:
1.Collect/save empty cigarette packs;
2.Buy a pack of cigarettes (inexpensive, no major investment needed);
3.Buy a pack of cigarette loads (any novelty shop should do);
4.Empty new pack of cigarettes;
5.Meticulously place one load in the lighting end of a cigarette (a toothpick is required to properly work the load far enough up so it doesn't explode upon lighting and will ensure a proper shredding once the load does explode);
6.Place 1 or 2 loaded cigarettes in each of the empty packs you've collected/saved; and
7.Shortly before your set, casually walk around the club and leave the loaded packs on tables, chairs and the bar. . . anywhere the unsuspecting may find them.
Then, go about your business, engage in your regular pre-show ritual and wait for the fun to start. Show goers are notorious for scavenging - lost change, guitar picks, AND, most importantly, free cigarettes. Finding a pack with 1 or 2 cigarettes remaining is tantamount to winning the lottery (depending on the time of night and how much alcohol has been consumed). If timed correctly, you'll be able to see the punchline delivered while you're playing your set, as yellowish/orange flashes pop throughout the crowd. Regardless, the activity surrounding an exploding cigarette will tip you off that success is yours. Enjoy the moment.
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