My Sweet Lord

Sometime you just can’t make this stuff up . . .

NEW YORK (AP) -- A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ was canceled today. The artwork was created from more than 200 pounds of milk chocolate, and features Christ with his arms outstretched as if on an invisible cross. Unlike the typical religious portrayal of Christ, the Cavallaro creation does not include a loincloth. The sculpture was to debut Monday evening, the day after Palm Sunday and just four days before Roman Catholics mark the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on Good Friday. The final day of the exhibit was planned for Easter Sunday.

Cover Me

Our intrepid "Cheaply-Animated Album Cover-Art Theater" Correspondent, Mike Brosco, is currently working on a report on THIS.

Bono Knighted?!

Full details pending . . . . it appears that Bono, third from left, was welcomed into the Knights of Columbus on Thursday.

The Knights of Columbus has grown from several members in one council to more than 13,000 councils and 1.7 million members throughout the United States, Canada, the Philippines, Mexico, Poland, the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Panama, the Bahamas, the Virgin Islands, Guatemala, Guam and Saipan. It is believed that Bono will be the order’s first Irish member.

A tender moment in the Sen. Chambers . . .

During a recess in a committee hearing on the Justice Department firings, Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., takes charge and expresses his bipartisan feelings for Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa.

Rock stars as social advocates

Where do they find the time?

Recent headlines:
· WHO advocates circumcision to curb new HIV cases
· WHO: Vietnam faces re-emergence of human rabies
· Bird flu hits Indonesia after WHO agreement
· Indonesia to Share Bird Flu Samples with WHO

Emo Joke Wednesday Vol. 1, No. 3 - bonus

Q. Why are emo jokes so short?

A. So their fans can understand them.

Will They Afro The Book At Phil?

Our Evil Genius Producers On Trial For Murder Expert Correspondent, Stephanie Howard-Gallo, is currently working on an in-depth report on courtroom fashion "Do's" and "Don'ts".



...or maybe it is "Don'ts" and "Don'ts"...

Emo Joke Wednesday Vol. 1, No. 2

Q: How many emo bands does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I'm sorry. Please don't cry. Oh, crap, you wrote a song about how much these jokes hurt your feelings...?

Oh, jeez.

Hey, We All Get Old...

See Ma . . . I smart!!

Heavy metal 'a comfort for the bright child'
Intelligent teenagers often listen to heavy metal music to cope with the pressures associated with being talented, according to research.

The results of a study of more than 1,000 of the brightest five per cent of young people will come as relief to parents whose offspring, usually long-haired, are devotees of Iron Maiden, AC/DC and their musical descendants.

I Hate Music

...so instead - funny cat pictures!

Musician Joke Friday (Bonus Cut)

If your band is playing on a ship what should you toss to the bass player if (s)he falls overboard?

Musician Joke Friday (Special Drummers' Edition)

What has three legs and an asshole?

C-U Bands in America

Backstage at a recent concert, Galen Polivka, bass player for buzz band extraordinaire The Hold Steady, was overheard telling a fan about their love of C-U bands from the early to mid 1990’s . . . underscoring the discussion was the acknowledgement that Mother’s (now Menthol) “Gold Record” is a current favorite in the CD player of the touring van.

Of additional interest was the presence of ex-Daily Show Correspondent and current star of FOX’s The Winner Rob Corddry in the audience . . . Mr. Corddry had little opinion on C-U or its music scene, past or present, but wished it well in all of its endeavors.

Emo Band Joke Wednesday

What is considered "perfect pitch" in regards to an "emo band" lead vocalist?

When he does not hit either side of the dumpster.

Musician Joke Friday

...please submit your favorite musician joke to scene-schmene@hotmail.com

Something For The Kids

Dylan Hears A Who












...via Contributing (albeit unbeknownst to him) Editor Edward Burch.

Screw The Buckeyes, We're Going With Duke

Survey says - buy it now!

The Duke of Uke and His Novelty Orchestra

You might know the Duke from his performance with the Living Blue at this year's Great Cover-Up, his illustrations for the greatest local columnist ever or his years of penning the hilarious "Bob 'n Dave" comic in the Daily Illini.

Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll Grade School...

Night Clubs are soooooo 1998.

All of the coolest bands are booking gigs at grade schools!

Triple Whip says - "Don't Be A Fool - Rock A Grade School!"

Mike Ingram For A Horse (Slight Return)

Mike and Kayla Brown perform at Bar Louie this Friday.

Patience, thy name is Beck

In a calculated move 11 years in the making, popular singer-songwriter “Beck” surprised guests at the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame Awards Monday night by accepting the induction award on behalf of the absent Van Halen. “Today, I am whole,” Beck stated. “Many years ago, attention-whore Diamond David Lee Roth robbed me of my time in the spotlight. Now, it’s my turn.” Beck went on to deliver the acceptance speech he had prepared for the 1996 MTV Awards.”

37 Degrees of Condensation

Water temp 37-degrees.



Enormous thanks to all who contributed, especially Geoff Merritt, Cody Lee, Counsil member Dodds, Patrick Hawley, Paul Barrel, Matt North (you may remember him from such roles as "Head of Casino Security" on last week's episode of Heroes or as Jay Schneider, the William Morris agent with the questionable cashmere sweater on Curb Your Enthusiam), Ernie & Cynthia, my Mom, Dave Dahl, Seth Fein, the Noise Boy, my brother, Oreo, Todd Fletcher, Troy Michael, and many, many more...

Peace of Mind

Actual concert poster from Sept. 1978

R.I.P, Mr. Delp . . .

Buzz Editorial Staff Finishes Last In Skee-Ball League for 10th Straight Year

I would swear that one guy is Steve Scariano, but I do not believe he has ever owned a car.

They Probably Suck Anyway

We totally sent an email to Probably Vampires to tell them we were going to come see them tonight at the High Dive and they totally did not write back.

Oh, snap.

Married To The Sea

Married To The Sea

Self esteem issues?

It’s Ok, Billy – you’re talented in your own right.

Say it with me, “I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me.”

One step forward, two back . . .

Whenever Valley Park (Missouri) Mayor Jeffery Whitteaker begins thinking about illegal immigration — something he does quite often — his mind fills with unpleasant visions of Mexicans pouring into town.

"You got one guy and his wife that settle down here, have a couple kids, and before long you have Cousin Puerto Rico and Taco Whoever moving in. They say it's their cousins, but I don't really think they're all related. You see fifteen cars in front of one house — that's pretty suspicious."

". . .illegal immigration leads to higher crime rates, contributes to overcrowded classrooms and failing schools, and destroys our neighborhoods, and diminishes our overall quality of life."

[Barely 2% of Valley Park’s 6,518 residents are Hispanic . . . there’s no evidence that the city’s immigrant population is growing and crime rates are at an all time low]

RE: C-U CLEAN AIR ORDINANCE: "WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?"

The J-List

Top 10 C-U Concerts:

1. The Vertebrats, The Greedy Loves, and Townie @ The Iron Post (September 15)

2. The Vertebrats and Townie @ The Iron Post (September 16)

3. Harvey Danger, So Many Dynamos, and The Rikters @ The Courtyard
(September 28)

4. The Invisible, Lanterna, Pulsar47, and New Ruins @ Cowboy Monkey (May 26)

5. Alma-Afro Beat Ensemble, Triple Whip, Nu-Orbit Ensemble, Brandon T.
Washington, Ear Doctor, and Environmental Encroachment @ Independent Media Center (April 21)

6. The Great Crusades, The Greedy Loves, and Lanterna @ Cowboy Monkey (September 1)

7. Shipwreck, Sanawon, Bound Stems, and New Ruins @ The Iron Post (February 11)

8. Local H, North Atlantic, and Broken Day @ The Canopy Club (July 7)

9. Joni Laurence @ The Canopy Club (April 26)

10. American Minor, elsinore, and The Wandering Sons @ Cowboy Monkey (June 29)

-- Todd J. Hunter, Riddle Wrapped in a Mystery Inside an Enigma

MUSICIANS ON NEW CLEAN AIR ORDINANCE: "SMOKING BAN SHOULD NOT INCLUDE HOTEL ROOMS"

But will I still be able to play "Louie Louie"?

The Apples in Stereo's first album in five years, "New Magnetic Wonder," is the band's debut on Frodo-owned Simian Records. For the album, band mastermind Robert Schneider invented the "Non-Pythagorean Music Scale," which, through mathematical equations based on the properties of natural logarithms, replaces the standard 12 tones in a musical octave with a new set of frequencies. The digital sound files allow fans to invent new chords and songs.

Turning Curious offers down in favor of Blown Signalmen

Jet Lag Magazine, April 1980:

St. Louis, MO - “Cool Jerk is still without a permanent drummer,” says Dave Thomas. “The drummer who performed with us at Peacock Alley, Jeff Evans, is just about perfect for us, but if he joins the band it means he’ll have to move. So it’s just up in the air.”


Jet Lag Magazine, May 1980:
“Cool Jerk has apparently broken up.”

Happy Unofficial, Everybody!

Big shout out to Stef at Rentertainment...

Don’t Hold Your Breath Waiting for Chinese Democracy . . . .

. . . because it probably won’t happen for at least a hundred years, according to China’s Premier Wen Jiabao.

In related news, Axl Rose has once again postponed Guns N Roses’ latest.

In December 2006, Rose committed to a March 6 release date. No more. The new date is now “sometime” in September. Year of release was not available as of press time.

Rawkibus Maximus Gitaronvox!

"Hello Fanatics! This web site dedicated to singer/songwriter Mark Baldwin rock and roll and others musical journey! If you never hear of this, Mark Baldwin play in bands such from Lovecup to Mezzanines and Trombones - he even was in Menthol and got fired! He even try out in Living Blue and got not picked! Try to play in Hum and heard, 'No thanks!'... "

NOTE: Apparently the website is constantly being updated and may be down for extended periods. Bookmark it and keep checking back, though.

CUMS.BS Contest #1

Hey!

It is high time this blog had a contest!


We want to know who is the busiest musician in the local scene!

EMAIL US - scene-schmene@hotmail.com

First runner up will win lunch with Don Gerard and the FIRST PRIZE WINNER will NOT have to have lunch with Don Gerard!

Kick AS...uh, er...

...we mean, SUPER!