B-52 Flew Over U.S. With Nuclear-Armed Missiles

Having been told of the error, President Bush retreated to his study with key advisors to brush up on essential strategy. After 5-minutes, he emerged, remarking, “This is a good band, an American band. I’m a fan of this band and have spent many nights enjoying their music, especially “Private Idaho” and “Dance this Mess Around”. I have no reason to believe they mean to attack us. We don’t know how they got the nuclear-armed missiles but we are in the process of retrieving them and hope to have them safely secured by the end of their fall tour.” When reached, lead singer Fred Schneider called Bush a “giant clam” insisting he was “in a jam” before hopping in his whale-sized Chrysler and setting sail.