Name That Tune, Mr. Spock!

1. This celebratory gathering occurs at my behest and I shall be lachrymose if it so befits me.

2. She chooses to purchase a terraced incline directed toward a postlife paradisiacal region.

3. I request that you prevent a large, glowing orb consisting of incandescent gas from committing fellatio upon my person.

4. The leather coverings now encasing my pedal extremities have been manufactured for the specific purpose of ambulatory forward motion.

5. Allow me the honour of portraying for you a miniaturized representation of a member of the family Ursidæ of the order Carnivora.

6. Adieu, jaundiced vehicular pathway consisting of blocks of baked clay.

7. You provide illumination for the period of time delimited by my nativity and the complete cessation of my metabolic functions.

8. And we will engage in much jubilant activity until such time as the male parent chooses to repossess her vehicle of motorized transport.

9. The deity had little or nothing to do with the manufacture of minuscule viridescent seed-bearing fruits.

10. Expresses deep affection toward yours truly in the manner of a hardened igneous object.

11. Please remove yourself from the immediate vicinity of my visible collection of minute water particles, Dr. McCoy.

(originally appeared in SPY Magazine)