The Viper and His Gayness Orchestra

Dr. Ryan "The Viper" Jerving's open letter to Donnie Davies:

I just sent the following message to Donnie Davies, who maintains the list of gay and really gay bands. Cross your fingers, and wish us luck!

Dear Donnie Davies:

I would really like to be added to your list. My band's name is The Viper and His Famous Orchestra. And while I am not myself gay, I do indulge in the kind of high camp of the sort that seems to have put Marilyn Manson, Cole Porter, Barry Manilow, and Queen on your list.

What's more, Jay Bennett of Wilco recorded and mixed our first LP record, Everything for Everyone, and I think some of his gayness might have rubbed off on us.

If there is further doubt, let me assure you that the following lyrics sung on this record were meant in all queer emo earnestness (from Liz Phair's "Dance of the Seven Veils" - and I can't believe she's not on your list):

"Johnny, my love

We got us a witness

Now all we gotta do is get a preacher"

...Clear evidence that this is a band in favor of gay marriage, and not even hiding behind the fig leaf of civil unions.

Again, I would greatly appreciate being added to your list, where I can keep company with Magnetic Fields, Ravi Shankar, and the "Really Gay" Elton John. I thank you for your efforts in this area, and am glad to help you promote gay music.

Sincerely,

Ryan Jerving

The Viper and His Famous Orchestra

Oh, Pretty Woman - dig out the assless chaps - VH is going on the road!

It's OFFICIAL: VAN HALEN Reuniting With Roth For Tour

Sources tell Billboard.com a contract could be signed as soon as today for a 40-date amphitheatre tour by VAN HALEN this summer, with original frontman DAVID LEE ROTH back in the fold for the first time in more than 20 years.

(The new Van Halen)

Ignoring the need for a solid low end or quality background vocals, guitarist Eddie Van Halen's 15-year-old son Wolfgang has stepped in for original bassist Michael Anthony in the new incarnation of the group, which also features drummer Alex Van Halen.

"I see it absolutely as an inevitability," Roth told Billboard.com last May of a potential reunion with his ex-bandmates. "To me, it's not rocket surgery."

In related news . . . The Police Reunite

(The Police . . . w/manager Miles Copeland)

NEW YORK (AP) -- The Police will reunite at this year's Grammys ceremony, the Recording Academy announced Tuesday. The award-winning group will open the event on Feb. 11 (CBS), 23 years after breaking up amid internal conflict.

The band last performed together in 2003 when they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Sting fanned speculation of a Police reunion and tour when he told the Television Critics Association earlier this month that he and his former bandmates were "talking about" doing something to commemorate their 30th anniversary.

First Axe

Paul Westerberg has given his name to a "cheapy" guitar company.

First Act is generally sold at Wal-Marts. Supposedly, the story goes that PW bought one on a whim when he was out on tour a couple years back. He liked it so much that he contacted the company and that union has resulted in a signature guitar priced for the masses ($159 at Amazon.com). Amazing.

Won't Someone Buy Don Gerard's Memories? #1

Don Gerard's Alternate Autographs:

"To my good friend, Bobby Brady, whose house I eat dinner at whenever I am in town. -- Joe Namath"

"Get me a shoe endorsement, please"

"I went on tour with M7x and all I got was this lousy Sharpie."

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for an Eastwood today . . .

Ever the champion of the cash poor, yet style hungry guitarist . . . I direct your attention to THIS SITE.

Yes, the company is named for Actor/Director Clint and was named hurriedly in 2001 when the maker was put on the spot to name his creations while at the NAMM show. Internationally, these guitars getting high marks for being quality replicas of classic guitars at incredibly affordable prices.

Case in point, the Eastwood Stormbird, my personal favorite – it’s modeled after a 1960’s Gibson Firebird (P-90’s and all).

Reviews of this guitar give it “thumbs up” on construction, paint job (available in sunburst, gold, red and black), electronics and playability.

You can buy it direct for $399 with free shipping! I've been searching under couch cushions all weekend and just about have enough change to place the order.

Go to the site – they have over 20 models (guitars and basses) they are now offering. Lots of nice replicas – Moserite, Gretsch, Airline, Gibson, etc. They offer a copy of the Johnny Ramone Moserite – authentic in set up and pick up configuration – for less than $400. Amazing stuff.

I have it on good account that local C-U scenster Cody Lee (The Dictators, Falcon Eddy, Michael Monroe, The Delta Kings) has owned a Moserite replica called the Sidejack for over a year and loves it.

Welcome

Shortly after agreeing to appear in the C-U Music-Schmusic Staff Photo, Doug Hoepker tore up his contract, cleaned out his desk and never returned.